Faith: To Doubt is to Believe

Admittedly, I come from a Christian background. My father has been in full time Christian service, either pastoring a church somewhere across these United States, or doing missionary work overseas, or supporting these fields in one way or another.

I grew up in Church.

When I got out of high school, I attended Elim Bible Institute for a period of time followed by direct “in the trenches” service in New York City at the New York School of Urban Ministry for two years. As a sidenote, their website sucks and they should have let me build them one, but I digress. ;)

I know what you’re thinking. Aaron, what does this have to do with anything. Get to the point!

Well, my point is this. Over the past four years of marriage and participation in “church”, I have found that in reality, church is not what Jesus ever intended it to be. THE CHURCH was intended to be the Body of Christ in action in the world. In other words, an extension of Christ Himself. One doesn’t have to look far to realize that the Church (or rather the separate congregations around the country) are not behaving as the extension of Christ in the world.

So again, what do I mean? Over the past four years, I have become more and more distant from Christianity and the Church. I have found myself disagreeing with the major figures in the Church as they spout their theories and theologies about God. What I have experienced in my life is not consistent with what the talking heads would like to expound from their pulpits.

Examples? Sure!

Scenario 1: A homeless man collecting change in a median strip of a major road?
Typical Christian Attitude: Bum! He should go get a job instead of mooching off of me.

Scenario 2: A church goer smoking cigarettes.
Typical Christian Attitude: He is obviously not living for God or he wouldn’t be smoking.

Too often, I’ve witnessed as Christians condemn the very people they are called to reach. Christians often are brainwashed after they become Christians and completely forget the state their own lives were in when the were converted.

Recently, it dawned on me that, as I have found myself drifting away from the God of my forethoughts, I realized I was more intimate with Him than ever. Suddenly the Scriptures that talked about Jesus being able to sympathize with our weaknesses became alive. As my own doubt in God grew, the closer to Him I grew. If I can be so bold, I feel that I understand God more – not on an intellectual level, but on a deeply spiritual and emotional level.

I love the debate about rationality and faith that Maphet writes about:

As I understand it, seadragon’s essential belief is this: she feels that she needs a rational reason to have some sort of faith. No one has given her the desired evidence. Therefore, she sees no need to look into faith/religion/whatever and is, in fact, quite content in her atheism.

Jeff’s response, again as I understand it, has been to offer both his own personal transformation as evidence and a form of the teleological argument: given the complexity of the universe, it is more rational to believe that it came from a rational, complex being rather than blind chance.

Personally, I find both of these arguments meaningful. Given Jeff’s transformation, for example (the teleological argument will have to wait for another day), and the millions of others throughout history, it seems entirely rational to believe that something happened. And given the large number of people who have died for this same belief and experience, it seems that this shared phenomenon is significantly more than the mere search for emotional fulfillment or the result of an existential crisis that some paint it as.

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About the Author: Aaron Brazell is the lead editor of Technosailor.com and a social media expert. His passion is to see companies and individuals use the internet and web technologies wisely and effectively to promote their brands and companies. He is Business Development Manager for Lijit and he worked as Director of Technology at b5media from 2005-2008 and is currently an independent consultant.