I am pretty pissed. I wiated until today to post because I wanted to see if the feeling would pass. But it hasn’t. Last night there were plans to have some friends and I go out for my birthday. Five people, including my wife, said they would be there. One person said he couldn’t come. One person wasn’t sure if she could but would be coming from out of state so I didn’t expect her.
I arrived about a half hour before we all agreed to meet so I could enjoy the Maryland-Navy game. Ordered dinner and a beer. Time went on. I tried to call some of the folks to find out if they were going to show up. Bought another beer.
After about 45 minutes had passed since we had agreed to meet, I became resigned to the fact that the same guys I go out of my way to attend events for, including birthday parties for their children, are the same guys that couldn’t give a shit about me on my birthday. Not even a phone call to say something came up. I called my wife up and fortunately she hadn’t left yet. I told her don’t bother and that I was going home. But she was planning on being there for me. Yes, the woman I am going through a divorce with was going to come out for my birthday! But not “my friends”.
Sad part is, these are also the same guys that put it out there that they want to “be here for me” while my wife and I are going through a divorce. So much for that. Your actions speak way louder than your words.
So I bought myself two birthday beers and a chicken sandwich and went home.
{ 38 comments }
Ingoal 09.05.05 at 3:06 pm
Ouch, now that really sucks. Noone should be alone on his birthday :-(
Nontheless: Happy belated birthday!
Aaron Brazell 09.05.05 at 3:08 pm
Thanks Ingo. It’s actually not belated as my birthday is tomorrow. :-) Thanks, though.
Ingoal 09.05.05 at 4:06 pm
Ouch, now that really sucks. Noone should be alone on his birthday :-(
Nontheless: Happy belated birthday!
Aaron Brazell 09.05.05 at 4:08 pm
Thanks Ingo. It’s actually not belated as my birthday is tomorrow. :-) Thanks, though.
Ingoal 09.05.05 at 5:33 pm
*Scratches head* takes back belated birthday which is really a upfront happy birthday wish…*scratches head again*…alrighty…I’ll be back to congrat you tomorrow then as it’s a bad omen to congrat somebody prior to his real birthday - at least over here ;-)
Aaron Brazell 09.05.05 at 5:34 pm
You didn’t know so the god of luck will still smile happily on you…
Ingoal 09.05.05 at 6:09 pm
Well, the “god of luck” is often smiling happily on me…especially on recent card games… :-)
Ingoal 09.05.05 at 6:33 pm
*Scratches head* takes back belated birthday which is really a upfront happy birthday wish…*scratches head again*…alrighty…I’ll be back to congrat you tomorrow then as it’s a bad omen to congrat somebody prior to his real birthday - at least over here ;-)
Aaron Brazell 09.05.05 at 6:34 pm
You didn’t know so the god of luck will still smile happily on you…
Ingoal 09.05.05 at 7:09 pm
Well, the “god of luck” is often smiling happily on me…especially on recent card games… :-)
Egor 09.06.05 at 1:01 pm
That’s shit man, real shit. Can’t say I’ve been in a similar situation before, but hey, there’s always next year! ;)
Egor 09.06.05 at 2:01 pm
That’s shit man, real shit. Can’t say I’ve been in a similar situation before, but hey, there’s always next year! ;)
H 09.06.05 at 4:09 pm
Well, a bunch of geeks over at SP haven’t forgotten - have another beer on us ;)
H 09.06.05 at 5:09 pm
Well, a bunch of geeks over at SP haven’t forgotten - have another beer on us ;)
Sara 09.06.05 at 5:47 pm
Had to wish you a happy birthday.
Aaron Brazell 09.06.05 at 6:46 pm
Thanks everyone. It’s been a good day. :)
Sara 09.06.05 at 6:47 pm
Had to wish you a happy birthday.
Ingoal 09.06.05 at 7:02 pm
Happy birthday (this time I should be in time, right ;-) ?)!!!
Stacie 09.06.05 at 7:21 pm
Aren’t friends wonderful? I am hoping that they had a good excuse.
Ok, wasn’t in work on Tuesday, but I’ll stop by to wish you a Happy Birthday!
Aaron Brazell 09.06.05 at 7:46 pm
Thanks everyone. It’s been a good day. :)
Ingoal 09.06.05 at 8:02 pm
Happy birthday (this time I should be in time, right ;-) ?)!!!
Stacie 09.06.05 at 8:21 pm
Aren’t friends wonderful? I am hoping that they had a good excuse.
Ok, wasn’t in work on Tuesday, but I’ll stop by to wish you a Happy Birthday!
wayne 09.07.05 at 5:26 pm
I spent my 25th birthday in boot camp. I spent 2 hours (from 10 pm until midnight) exercising with about 20 others under the tender mercies of 5 or 6 Navy Seals. Things kind of got blurry that night. All I remember was the pain. And doing pushups over my own puke. Sometimes life just sucks.
wayne 09.07.05 at 6:26 pm
I spent my 25th birthday in boot camp. I spent 2 hours (from 10 pm until midnight) exercising with about 20 others under the tender mercies of 5 or 6 Navy Seals. Things kind of got blurry that night. All I remember was the pain. And doing pushups over my own puke. Sometimes life just sucks.
Sean M. Crawford Sr 09.08.05 at 9:25 am
Dude
You can say what you want. Just like I told you on the NEXTEL…My grandmother was and still is in the hospital in a life & death situation. That is the lady that reared me as a child. Yes it is very selfish of you to think I am supposed to put her aside for a drink. She was my mother when my mother wasn’t and even as I sit here at work I have been and will continue to struggle with my own inner emotions about her condition.
I don’t expect you to care nor understand but that is life. Happy belated birthday!!!!!!!!
Aaron Brazell 09.08.05 at 10:16 am
Sean–
You have a very legitimate reason for not showing up. What I find illegitimate and completely disrespectful is not telling me you couldn’t make it when you had told me you would. You had enough time to talk to Larry on the phone but not enough time to give me a heads up. Meanwhile, I’m driving all the way down from Baltimore to Bowie - a place that is not exactly around the corner - to see friends. I find it highly indefensible on your part. I completely understand NOW why you couldn’t make it. But a simple phone call would have demonstrated integrity to me.
Besides. You weren’t the only one.
Aaron Brazell 09.08.05 at 10:19 am
Let me also say that you called your own self out on this blog. I did not mention your name or anyone specifically. Since you brought it into the public discourse, it can stay here.
Sean M. Crawford Sr 09.08.05 at 10:25 am
Dude
You can say what you want. Just like I told you on the NEXTEL…My grandmother was and still is in the hospital in a life & death situation. That is the lady that reared me as a child. Yes it is very selfish of you to think I am supposed to put her aside for a drink. She was my mother when my mother wasn’t and even as I sit here at work I have been and will continue to struggle with my own inner emotions about her condition.
I don’t expect you to care nor understand but that is life. Happy belated birthday!!!!!!!!
Aaron Brazell 09.08.05 at 11:16 am
Sean–
You have a very legitimate reason for not showing up. What I find illegitimate and completely disrespectful is not telling me you couldn’t make it when you had told me you would. You had enough time to talk to Larry on the phone but not enough time to give me a heads up. Meanwhile, I’m driving all the way down from Baltimore to Bowie - a place that is not exactly around the corner - to see friends. I find it highly indefensible on your part. I completely understand NOW why you couldn’t make it. But a simple phone call would have demonstrated integrity to me.
Besides. You weren’t the only one.
Aaron Brazell 09.08.05 at 11:19 am
Let me also say that you called your own self out on this blog. I did not mention your name or anyone specifically. Since you brought it into the public discourse, it can stay here.
Sean M. Crawford Sr 09.08.05 at 12:49 pm
You should know me well enough to know I am not ashamed. I expect you to caryy this for a minute and that is cool. Call you on the phone…Dude Larry is dealing with his own set of health issues with his wife so of course we did not laugh and conversate as we would normally do. But in keeping with who you are this reaction is something I have become familiar with and quite frankly am used to.
Dude hold on to it if you must. I forgive you though.
Aaron Brazell 09.08.05 at 12:58 pm
I only ask that you put yourself in my shoes and take that upon you. Once you have done that, then all I ask is that you admit you were wrong and I’ll forgive you. No hard feelings on it. You wronged me though and I don’t know that you are fully appreciating that. As for you forgiving me… man, I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m not asking for forgiveness.
Paulie 09.08.05 at 1:28 pm
Just so everyone knows I am one of the assholes who said he would be there and didn’t show up. I don’t want to give you an excuse, but I was at work from 8am Saturday until 3am Sunday trying to complete a task that gave my team nothing but problems. I was hoping to have it well enough along by 6pm to be able to join you, but I had a team of 6 other people who I asked to come in on Saturday and could not leave them in the middle of the job. There was nothing I could do about it but I will admit that I certainly should have called you. One way or another I worked 32 hours this ‘Holiday’ weekend.
I know it means nothing to you and I know I completely let you down. I apologize, though I’m sure my apology seems somewhat shallow since I didn’t even bother to call you until now. Aaron, if you had any idea how my life was going right onw with this project and school, you might understand. I’d like to talk to you about it but I honestly don’t even have the time to buy myself a mattress for my new apartment. Sleeping on the floor sure is great. Anyway, my sob story sucks, you are going through a very tough time and I said I would be there for you and did not folloow through with that. I sincerely apologize for letting you down and would like to ask if you would consider joining me for dinner in Silver Spring. I would say this weekend but I have 2 finals, a paper and 3 weeks of statistics homework to get through this weekend. Top that off with the formal test of the system I’ve been designing starts on Monday and we are about 1000 miles away from being anywhere near ready. I know it is meaningless to you so I’ll just quit my story and ask for your forgiveness as a friend. I know I let you down, and I’m sorry.
Paul
Aaron Brazell 09.08.05 at 1:39 pm
Apology accepted, Paul. We can get together another time. I know you have alot on your plate. Sean has his issue with his grandmother. People have shit happen. Acceptable. I just prefer not getting stood up by four people…
Sean M. Crawford Sr 09.08.05 at 1:49 pm
You should know me well enough to know I am not ashamed. I expect you to caryy this for a minute and that is cool. Call you on the phone…Dude Larry is dealing with his own set of health issues with his wife so of course we did not laugh and conversate as we would normally do. But in keeping with who you are this reaction is something I have become familiar with and quite frankly am used to.
Dude hold on to it if you must. I forgive you though.
Aaron Brazell 09.08.05 at 1:58 pm
I only ask that you put yourself in my shoes and take that upon you. Once you have done that, then all I ask is that you admit you were wrong and I’ll forgive you. No hard feelings on it. You wronged me though and I don’t know that you are fully appreciating that. As for you forgiving me… man, I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m not asking for forgiveness.
Paulie 09.08.05 at 2:28 pm
Just so everyone knows I am one of the assholes who said he would be there and didn’t show up. I don’t want to give you an excuse, but I was at work from 8am Saturday until 3am Sunday trying to complete a task that gave my team nothing but problems. I was hoping to have it well enough along by 6pm to be able to join you, but I had a team of 6 other people who I asked to come in on Saturday and could not leave them in the middle of the job. There was nothing I could do about it but I will admit that I certainly should have called you. One way or another I worked 32 hours this ‘Holiday’ weekend.
I know it means nothing to you and I know I completely let you down. I apologize, though I’m sure my apology seems somewhat shallow since I didn’t even bother to call you until now. Aaron, if you had any idea how my life was going right onw with this project and school, you might understand. I’d like to talk to you about it but I honestly don’t even have the time to buy myself a mattress for my new apartment. Sleeping on the floor sure is great. Anyway, my sob story sucks, you are going through a very tough time and I said I would be there for you and did not folloow through with that. I sincerely apologize for letting you down and would like to ask if you would consider joining me for dinner in Silver Spring. I would say this weekend but I have 2 finals, a paper and 3 weeks of statistics homework to get through this weekend. Top that off with the formal test of the system I’ve been designing starts on Monday and we are about 1000 miles away from being anywhere near ready. I know it is meaningless to you so I’ll just quit my story and ask for your forgiveness as a friend. I know I let you down, and I’m sorry.
Paul
Aaron Brazell 09.08.05 at 2:39 pm
Apology accepted, Paul. We can get together another time. I know you have alot on your plate. Sean has his issue with his grandmother. People have shit happen. Acceptable. I just prefer not getting stood up by four people…
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