If You Want Sex, You Need to Make a Sexual Move

First of all, thanks for proving a side point that posts with sex in the title will almost always get clickthroughs. :-)

Besides that, I actually have a point with that title, and trust me… it’s completely non-sexual. But it is true.

One thing I’ve noticed growing up and being around people in general, is that there always tends to be a desire to be someone and to be somewhere else. The grass is always greener paradigm. As a nerdy kid, I always wanted to have the attention of one of the girls. As an entrepreneur, I always wanted the big exit. As a blogger, I always wanted to be the big fish.

It’s funny how when you want something so bad, often times it’s not the “smart” routes that you take to get there. There’s always something that causes you to go about achieving your success in a somewhat irrational or self-destructive way.

As a long tail blogger getting started several years ago, it was the low-hanging pot shot that I would take at the proverbial “A List” bloggers. They forget where they came from. They only link among themselves. Etc.

Here’s one embarrassing example of me taking a self-righteous stab at folks who, in hindsight, rightfully ignored small fish like me.

I was out the other night watching basketball (Kansas FTW!) and I couldn’t help but notice that all the “kids” – let’s be honest, I’m 31 and anyone under 22 is a kid in my book) – that were getting the play were doing so because they put themselves in a position to get it. Then there were the “creepy old guys” who sat around and watched and you know they wished they were getting the play. Instead they just gawked at the women as the women made conversation with other guys. Yeah, we all know the scene, don’t we? ;-)

So my point is that the folks who have become successful in blogging, in business, in relationships, in whatever – the folks that we look up to and idolize – are the same folks that have recognized their success point and have done what they needed to do to be in those positions. They have wrote the right content at the right time and met the right people and marketed their content in the right mediums and social networks to the right people – and have found their success points.

To new bloggers and entrepreneurs – to the folks that have the great ideas that they have no idea how to execute on – figure out your niche. Discover the landscape. The money men. The competitors. The influencers. Figure out how to develop those relationships in the right and healthy way. You’ll discover your success point too. But you have to make the move if you’re going to be successful.

Aaron Brazell

Aaron Brazell is a Baltimore, MD-based WordPress developer, a co-founder at WP Engine, WordPress core contributor and author. He wrote the book WordPress Bible and has been publishing on the web since 2000. You can follow him on Twitter, on his personal blog and view his photography at The Aperture Filter.

6 thoughts on “If You Want Sex, You Need to Make a Sexual Move

  1. Aaron,

    That’s just dirty.

    I saw the title and automatically clicked in to read. You’re dangerous, you know that?

    Time to start making better topics for my blog.

    Well done. (okay, now I need to read the article.)

  2. I am actually disappointed this post isn’t about sex. I’m protesting your untruthiness by not reading the rest.

    Ok, that’s a lie.

    It is very true, if you want to play with the big boys, you need to roll like one and let them know you’re in the game.

  3. I was so not fooled by the title…I am well aware of the little trend!!

    However, I must agree with your post and hope that others will stick around to actually read the whole thing.

    Cliche that is it, but very true, “if you can’t run with the big dawgs stay on the porch.”

    And many should have just stayed on the porch.

  4. WOW…Another good one. I am proud of you. But I wonder just as much as they say forgetting where you came from can draw heat, can remembering where you came from hurt you? You know me and I have tried to put this life in a better light. But I am wondering does that hurt me more than it helps me?

  5. Sean-

    Absolutely not. I enjoy a relatively high degree of success and profile but am also very tied into a community that has not reached the same success points I have. At some point, you become less of the guy that benefits from others and more of the kind that provides the benefits to others. In my case, I’m doing what I can to help the community I’m involved with grow and mature.

    On the flip side, there are certain high profile and successful folks (one I’m thinking of is a hot lifecasting blonde from Pittsburgh) who seems to have done the opposite and no longer has the time for the community she came up in (in terms of her professional career). I say this as hearsay and not someone who has any particular first hand knowledge, so iJus****, forgive me if I’m pegging you wrong. ;-)

    On the other side of the divide are people who are trying to make it, as I was 3 years ago, and taking cheap shots at people who have so much noise to filter through that they are trying to find the signal among it all. Those folks trying to make it can benefit by the notion of building organic and measured success and that there is no such thing as an “A List” – there is no such thing as a vertical hierarchy of success where being in the Technorati Top 100 is the success point. Blogging, brand and profile has become much more meta and it no longer is definable as a single ladder to success.

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