I think FB has done a better job, of late, in allowing me to turn up or down volume on people and by reducing the friend feed activity. I find in FB, it's the one-on-one comments and status updates that interest me the most. Twitter, to me, is much more of a living, breathing organism. I have to follow and unfollow people based on their impact on my whole network. More than once I have un-followed someone whose tweet content I like and whose person I like, but whose *impact* on my Tweet feed I didn't like, e.g. massive tweeting and pushing out other people's tweets.

Anyhoo, I find that much of the value of social media is, interestingly, developing and strengthening the skill to navigate a shifting terrain. Does that make sense? It's not so much about social media being perfect. And a perfect static tool. I experience that it's very much about a dynamic interaction with a community of people and that I have to be aware of the changes in the community, changes in what I want and then to adapt, in real time, so that the social media tools continue to work for me. As much as the environment of each tool changes, with new people coming in, old timers slowing down their posts and such, my own interests fluctuate, and I'm the one that has to make the tool work for me … all while being in relationship to the dynamic world of others, and their relationships, at the same time.

Thoughts on a Saturday morning. Have a great time at BWE08. See you at Dobbin Starbucks soon.

One thing I noticed when I joined Twitter a few weeks ago was that everyone has the same faces on their follows -the confused-looking guy who looks like he's saying “huh”, the girl who's yelling through her hands, the green and black aquatic animal, the girl eating a lollypop, the brother with the glasses, the sly-looking woman who got fired for blogging at work (I <3 her, actually) and on and on. As a newbie, I thought I needed those people, too. But, let's unfollow those folks! I will if you do! *grin*

Inciting Revolution,
Erica
http://twitter.com/cosmicgirlndc

This sounds like me. I swear I'm not being anti-social.

Should it be all about being personal?

I'm not sure. I know it's a lot of personal. I enjoy connecting with the people that I do, helping them, sharing information, and really just the friendships that develop. I would miss it if it weren't possible. I'm an addict yes, but to something that adds value to my life. When does value reach it's tipping point?

But there is an asymmetry at work, because even if you are “friends” with someone and have worked with them, they still may have more capital than you, and it becomes hard for the karma that exists in real life relationships to work itself out. This isn't because people are egotistical or evil or jerks (well, some are, but they will flame out and die), but because the sprawling nature of communications doesn't let them have time or resources.

And some people just aren't good at keeping up with the volume of individual correspondence from “friends,” either, no matter who they are.

Bottom line is, you're right about one-to-one relationships being the important ones. But it needs to be emphasized that when they become inherently unequal or don't allow for reciprocity, one should step back and evaluate the strength of “social media” for relationship building, and as you have, maybe use their email and phone more than their friendfeed.

It's one thing to be “fed” your “friends.” It's another to have to proactively maintain your relationships,