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Influencers Make Friends and Influence People
Dale Carnegie sold 16M copies of his book How to Win Friends & Influence People
Influencers understand these three things because, as stated, they value community and work to enhance that interaction. They are not self-serving by trying to articulate their own self value with metrics, accomplishments and achievements. They do not try to artificially inflate their egos with buzzwords, broads strokes of grandeur or marginalizing their followers.
By finding value in the actions and activities of those that are hierarchically lower than themselves, influencers enjoy the broad ranging good will of those they hope to lead. In the context of the social media space, influencers leverage their audiences to enhance conversations, business and productivity of those that do not enjoy the same reach. They value discourse and dialogue, and rarely marginalize those who do not agree with them.
In the truest sense of the word, they are following the Proverbs that say, “If you want friends, show yourself to be friendly.”
“In todays political climate, it is more likely that there will be ‘reinforcers’that echo the sentiment of those who agree, but rarely (if ever) change the mindset of those who don’t.”
Carnegie hated negative criticism and in his own organization, he strove never to negatively criticize those who disagreed with him. He recognized that out of criticism came resentment and though he often won his arguments, it always came out of respect for others with opposing opinions.
In todays political climate, very few influencers exist. Influence generally means that a leader is able to bring people around to his way of thinking and convert those who don’t agree into followers that buy into his ideas. Because the political climate today does not cultivate an atmosphere of mutually respectful disagreement, it has become almost impossible to have true influencers. It is more likely that there will be “reinforcers” that echo the sentiment of those who agree, but rarely (if ever) change the mindset of those who don’t. This is not influence. It is enablement.
If Carnegie’s teachings are to be heeded, influencers will recognize that diversity of opinion is the core to successful business and dialogue. CEOs who value this trait will surround themselves with senior management and advisers that don’t always agree with them and will challenge their thinking. These CEOs will understand the motivations of those around him and dialogue within that context. They will not dismiss criticism as being unvaluable or unproductive, and will consider thoughtfully the opinions of these advisers.
Out of this respect comes trust and leadership and creates an atmosphere that is healthy for all parties involved.
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I doesn’t take much skill/ talent/ ability to be a celebrity any more- but to be an influencer, or to actually make an impact on the people around you takes much more skill and finesse.
I do a few things to try to keep my own little brand identity- I use the same “handle” or screen name on every site i use, and I try to use the same profile picture, and recently I was recognised at a local blog meetup- and I feel that there is value in doing all these things- but I am working on becoming more of an influencer moving forward.
At some point I decided I’d rather be the guy with something valuable to add to the community, than the guy with 3 million hits on a youtube video where I wreck a 4-wheeler.
Arron,
It is a rare where I find a philosophy that closely mirrors mine. I see that some of traits mentioned are natural for me and a few I have to work on.
I congratulate you on a very well written blog (article); one that I’ll be proud to refer to my kindred friends.
Ed
Aaron,
I have to agree with what Ed said. It’s truly a great article, and I am spreading it out to everyone I know. Good job!
Excellent. Off to go link it on WW.
Great observations, I enjoyed the blog.
Cool. Thanks for the insight. “It’s been said, even, that character is what we are when no one is looking.” – outrageous but true.
Aaron,
Fantastic stuff. Timeless and timely. I’ll add a link on my blog, because I think folks in my biz, local television news, could use a refresher on engaging people. We’ve been taught for so long (entire careers for some) that we do our thing, and the audience will always be there. It’s not anymore. You need, as you suggest, to offer something to people.
Thanks again for sharing your insight.
Mark
To quote the great philosopher Bono: “This is just f*cking brilliant.”
Mark: Thank you, sir.
Andrew: That is why I love Bono.
Great observation! Good stuff, Aaron.
Great points, I agree completely.
I made it through the whole article and it was very informative. I am pretty energized by it and look forward to your keynote at IZEAFest. You really took your time and crafted a well thought out article with some great points. I have yet to read Dale Carnegie’s book, I started once but didn’t get too far, I think it is time to try again.
This is a very insightful paragraph:
“To be an influencer, you’re going to have to balance that self brand, personal marketing for the sake of being known with providing absolute, unquestioned value to the greater community. Carrying the mantle of an influencer means being a celebrity for the community. It means always giving of yourself so that the rest of the crowd benefits. It’s almost self-sacrificial, flying in the face of personal brand or celebrity.”
This phenomenon is due to human biology and social habits, every day our actions and thoughts are derived from others around and before us. Intellectuals are followers of previous intellectuals and commoners are followers of popular figures. However, one cannot say that we are brainless, but rather we belong to a massive network making up an overall societal “mind”. We never truly die, we each have significant effects on society that ripple and cascade endlessly.
Well done! I have been writing “traditionally” for some time and just recently joined the social media world. It can get a bit disheartening for those new to the scene to feel that they are competing with someone with 3,000 followers. Thank you for helping put all of this into perspective in a sound, academic article. I will certainly be sharing this with others.