Funny WordPress Plugin Sneaks In

One of the annoyances we have at b5media is when people spell our company name wrong. We’ve even had our own people spell the name wrong. So annoying. :-)

Somewhere along the line last year, this universal plugin snuck into our build. I don’t know where it came from or who wrote it. (whistles) It solves the problem though. :)


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10 More Rules For Dealing With Snow

Since it’s a snow day here in Maryland and on much of the east coast, I thought I’d revisit 10 Rules for Dealing with Snow.

Unfortunately, since I wrote that educational post several years ago, it’s apparent that people still don’t get it. So let’s add 10 more rules for dealing with snow. I don’t like to micromanage the snow process, but it’s obvious I need to lay down more rules.

  1. Hills: Driving on hills, particularly when it’s icy, is a dangerous task. On my way into work today, I observed multiple cars having to throw their cars in reverse and back down hills they couldn’t make. The problem here is that you must drive fast. Throw your car in Overdrive (it means “Drive with Extra Snow Capability”) and gun your engine. You need all the momentum you can get to get all the way up that hill.
  2. Shelter: Shelter is important during snow events because no one wants to get wet. I suggest those green table umbrellas at Starbucks. They are very effective at keeping snow off your body. Don’t believe the myth about the weight of snow and collapsing things. It’s false.
  3. Church of Scientology: As Tom Cruise said, if you do, you will be the only person compelled to stop and help those poor souls that wreck their cars because they didn’t know how to handle the conditions. That can make you very late to your appointment at Starbucks under the green umbrella.
  4. Back Roads: Those roads that are windy and hilly are a great escape from all the crazy drivers on the main roads. The plows and salt trucks won’t even be there.
  5. Only Go Out When you need to: For instance, to see Stephen Colbert’s tri-portrait hanging at the Smithsonian feet away from the America’s President’s gallery. Democracy in action and democracy is important.
  6. Bread and Milk: I alluded to this several years ago, but since I wrote the last advisory, my thrifty wife has turned me on to “After Christmas Sales” on milk and bread. It would be a good time to stockpile these very valuable commodities in advance of the snow.
  7. Survival Tips: In line with the last tip, make sure you get a generator for those ice storms. The best place to keep a generator is in your basement as you can get the additional heat generated rising up through the ventilation shafts, floors and under cracks in door.
  8. Video Games: The kids will surely have snow days at school, so make sure you have plenty of video games to keep them occupied. My suggestions for games for kids are Resident Evil, Grand Theft Auto IV or Manhunt (Pretty much any title from Rockstar Games).
  9. Post Office: The post office will not deliver in the snow. There is this slogan that goes something like, “Through rain, sleet or snow, the post office will always deliver” however that actually has been mistranslated over the past century and a half. The real original quote is, “Through rain, sleet or snow, the post office workers will find someplace to hunker down for a hot cup o’ joe”
  10. School’s Out: Finally, always, always, always keep your kids home from school if it looks like it might snow anywhere within 500 miles of you. You can never be too safe

Folks, I really really hope I don’t have to come back in a year and reducate you on snow. Maybe now you’ll listen to me. You’ve been warned.

Pachelbel

I found this via Facebook. One of my friends sent this to me and I laughed so hard I watched it 3 times in a row. See, if you’re a musician as I am, you know that music is just a bunch of patterns. It’s mathematical, really. So it’s not all that unusual for “progressions” to repeat or be duplicated between songs. It’s unintentional mostly, but thats the nature of patterns.

Apparently, everyone loves the Canon in D patterns. ;-)

Stocks Surge on Red Sox Victory

Stability has returned to Wall Street after Friday’s 300 point drop. Many industry experts credited unrest in Northern Iraq, surging Oil prices and uncertainty surrounding the 20th anniversary of the Black Monday October 1987 crash where the market lost over 22% of its value in a single day. Others, however speculated that the sudden downturn was the result of uncertainty surrounding the Red Sox ability to turn the ALCS around. Down 3-2 in Game 5, the series returned to Boston. However, the damage was done on Friday causing many to question the stability of the market and the Boston Red Sox.

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Weekend trading showed an upsurge in the market however as Curt Schilling and Japanese pitching sensation Daisuke Matsuzaka, also referred to by Red Sox faithful as Dice-K, put the clampdown on the Cleveland Indians to win the American League Championship Series in dramatic fashion Sunday night. Shortly after the game was won at around midnight Boston time, the Tokyo stock exchange surged ahead on the back of their native son. American markets would soon follow.picture-5.png

Many people question the connection between professional sports and finances. Some would call it “irrational exuberance“. However, there is no doubt that with the World Series now a certainty for the Red Sox, markets have responded favorably. In 1987, the market responded negatively to the St. Louis Cardinals ending up 2 games down in the World Series to the Twins. The Market doesn’t like the Twins because it’s hard to tell what is a sell and what is a buy – they look too similar!

The World Series was won by the Philadelphia Athletics in 1929 but it took 10 days before the Great Depression would begin. This has been attributed to the fact that the market didn’t comprehend that Philadelphia would lose their team to Oakland eventually in advance of the “Summer of Love” when everyone moved to California.

All in all, the market has responded admirably to the win today with Tech sector stocks leading the way. An investor was overheard saying, “We gotta love these tech stocks! All the webheads were on Twitter last night talking about the Sox! Gotta go with the winner here!”

We’ll keep following this story and let you know any further developments.

How Important Do You Think You Are?

Happy Friday, folks! I’m on my way to Philadelphia when you read this post. So because I’m not around to entertain you with my amazing antics and wordsmithing, I thought I’d leave you with this ego test. I’m calling it the Technosailor Self Importance Test and it will determine just how important you think you are.

It should be fun! Go take the test now! Make sure you tell us what the results are in comments! :-)

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