G.I. Joe is a Meanie

I was looking around on IMDB this morning when I came across this atrocity. Apparently, they are making a movie set to be released in 2009 based on G.I. Joe – yes, the toys, cartoons and comic books that every boy growing up in the 80s remembers fondly.

I was excited that they were making a G.I. Joe movie. After all, Transformers rocked. Then I saw the movie description:

A European-based military unit known as Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity (G.I.J.O.E.), a hi-tech, international force of special operatives takes on an evil organization led by a notorious arms dealer.

What the hell?! G. I. Joe was a real American hero, not some European, internationalized commando group. Give me a break. I guess a “Real American Hero” doesn’t play well in a world that despises America and relies on the United Nations to make all decisions best left to the sovereignty of nations.

As my friend Keith noted, “GI Joe is being EU/UN-ified? Can’t wait until they’re brought to the Hague for being mean to Cobra Commander.”

Insanity. Don’t mess with my heritage, please.