If I Had to do it All Again

As I sit here tonight, at a bar, typing on the WordPress app (which will undoubtedly make my fingers cramp typing long form), I’m thinking about my life. What has made me a man, a developer, a friend, and lover (I can even get in Oxford commas on the app!)

In exactly five hundred and fifty six days, I will be 40. FORTY!

I don’t look like an old man.

I don’t (usually) feel like an old man.

I don’t even behave like an old man.

Note: what follows may sound like I’m saying “Get off my lawn!”

Where were we? Oh yes, FORTY.

I just finished my first week on a new job. I’ve been doing WordPress stuff since 2004. I was learning PHP in 2000. I was developing coding chops in 1987 on an Apple IIc!

I’ve been married. Divorced. Had a kid. Owned a house. Chased the rabbit hole that is the American Dream™.

I’ve loved and I’ve lost. I’ve had dear friends pass away from cancer and heart attacks. I’ve watched national tragedy and personal tragedy, and even suffered my own.

My perspective has evolved. Sometimes willingly, sometimes not.

Take weekends and evenings. You may be single. You may not be. It doesn’t matter. Don’t work at all hours of the day and night. You’ll be less productive, because you’ll be less rested. You’ll also be better socially adjusted.

Get up early. Don’t sleep in until 11am. Your body wasn’t meant to do this. Don’t force it to. It will rebel. Related to this, and the last point, get to bed before midnight.

The man who cooks is the man who gets the woman. I’m happily involved, but my girlfriend and I both love to cook. And you know what? It got me ahead when I was single. No woman wants your idea for dinner at your place to be frozen dinners or delivery (there’s a time and place for delivery!).

Find passion that you aren’t aware of. Later in my adult life, I bought a camera and started learning how to shoot… How to visualize and see a photo. Do something, try something. Get outside your comfort zone and challenge yourself. Volunteer!

Always learn. When I started on WordPress, I was hungry. I was curious. I started learning the ins and outs. I admit that in more recent years, I’ve allowed myself to get comfortable. I’m working on some other interesting things that will stretch me even more. If you’re in tech, you have no choice but to move forward. If you don’t learn, you’ll be left behind.

Don’t take the world literally. Seriously, stop. I’m looking at you, political nerds. Stop parsing everything that politicians do. They do it because it’s politics and all the crazy is a vast, orchestrated act to get you worked up and supply them with power. Live your life. Change what you can and accept what you can’t.

Read. Everything. I’m not a book guy, but if you are, have at them. Spend less time on Facebook and Reddit and more time on sites with content that is written at a college level with an informed, intellectual audience. Read The Atlantic, Ars Technica and the huge variety of other excellent sources. Stretch your intellect.

You’re not right. At least some of the time. Give grace to others, even if you “know” you’re right.

That’s it! Or at least all I can think of after 14h of work and several beers. My hands aren’t even cramped!

Update: The dress is white and gold, you morons.