I have sat on this post for the past few days because the last thing I want is this post to offend. I’ve tossed around the best way to approach it constructively and in an encouraging way. I’d like to consider myself a “friendly” for women bloggers, so with that context, I hope it is taken constructively.

Melanie Notkin, aka Savvy Auntie has built a fantastic site that is a non-mommy blogger mommyblog. It’s actually an AuntieBlog, as the name suggests. I got the scoop from Melanie when I was in Detroit a few weeks ago. SavvyAuntie.com is all about women who do not have kids of their own, but have incomes and tastes that they wish to lavish on their nieces and nephews.

It’s a fantastic idea, and her growth has been profound jumping from a paltry 5k unique visitors a month to 35k last month. Still not a dominant site, unless you realize that she has an average of 5 pageviews for every visit to the site. I guarantee most of you are not that lucky.

Valleywag wrote a piece the other day doing their best to spin the SavvyAuntie effort in a negative light. But even the Valley-based gossip blog that excels at making people look really bad, couldn’t write a compelling piece about Melanie’s site. In fact, the story was so positive by Valleywag standards that it might go down as a huge FAIL on their part.

Which led to a little kerfuffle among mommybloggers, led by Stefania Butler (aka CityMama) who led a spirited charge against Valleywag with lines like “‘let’s take a big huge dump on mommybloggers’ while backhandedly praising a non-mommyblogger for her internet success”.

So let me reinforce that both Stefania and Melanie are friends of mine. One I’ve had the distinct pleasure of meeting in person, and the other who I will one day. Let me also reinforce that Valleywag is a gossip rag and nothing more – certainly nothing that warrants a response, especially when the article was a “backhanded compliment”. IT’s just the game.

Now, this incident in isolation would probably not spur this post, however it is not in isolation. It’s pretty common for women blogger, mommy bloggers and otherwise, to get all up in arms about something a male blogger said about women bloggers. I understand the background behind it. I understand that for years, women have been at a disadvantage. I understand the BlogHer gives women a conference directed entirely toward them. I get it. Really.

However, ladies, you’re playing an away game. You’re comparing yourselves to another industry, and one far more established, and taking the battle on the road. This is a losing proposition.

First of all, male bloggers are generally not thinking in terms of men vs women. We are territorial beasts. We build our own properties and screw everyone in the process. It’s the nature of the game. You, ladies, band together and riot (or something). Again, it’s part of the game and I understand it.

Attacking Valleywag for a negative article, though, is ho hum. Attacking Mike Arrington for his actual or perceived biases is a losing proposition. Being loud and obnoxious on Twitter “so you’re heard” is playing the game on the road.

Road games suck. Oddsmakers in Vegas always give the home team a 3 point spread to start with when setting lines on football games. The 12th man always has an effect. You don’t want to play on the road, when you can play at home (no pun intended).

Women have an opportunity to dominate their niche. Because they band together, they have an opportunity to own the entire demographic in blogging. Advertisers like Glam are looking actively to prop up female-oriented sites, and BlogHer just received direct investment from NBC Universal.

Women in technology have a way to dominate in tech… if they aren’t trying to make it a men vs. women game in the process! That’s an away game.

I’m encouraged by the amount of women blogging and am amazed by some of the really incredibly successful bloggers who are women and building amazing properties. Sites like Celebrity Baby Blog, the Sparkplugging marketing blog network and SheGeeks are demonstrating that it’s very, very possible to build a successful, and respected property without playing an away game.